Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Wrong Notes

It does seem like the prodigal son is having a hard time coming back. Don't get me wrong; I have nothing against him personally. I feel that anyone that is willing to forsake his obligation to his country and left his parent behind for so many years in his pursuit of music and achieving greatness ought to be honored for their dedication. While the judge honored Nguyen’s love for his father with a noose, we honored this great son of Singapore by asking him to part with $5000 to the continual effort of national building. Which immediately got a lot of tongue wagging and a lot of people lamenting of their lack of interest of the keys of ebony and ivory.
I must say that this is indeed a great moment for us, as his return will probably mark another chapter in the ongoing effort of making our arts and in this case, music scene more vibrant. We probably are also telling the other prodigal son that Singapore stills welcomes you, as long as you do not mind to part with a measly $5k which in fact is for the good cause of further the nation building and to sustain the lowly wages of our highly effective and efficient ministers and the governments.
This also sent a clear message to those young impressionable kids that they really have nothing to fear. Go forth and pursue your dream, renounce your citizenship and come back when you make your mark in the world. You will still be called one of us despite the fact that your passport is now issued from somewhere else. It cost only $5k, really. Never mind the parents that you left behind and the friends that you have forgotten, as they will remember you and flock to you when you make it great.

As for those that is not gifted in Arts, I am sorry. Unless you decided never to come back, have parent that does not mind bank rolling your great escape, you will be given a very short hair-cut, be forced into an arranged marriage (with your rifle) for the next 2 years, and till you hit either 10 cycles or past your 40th birthday, you will be called back at whims all in the names of protecting our homeland.

Besieged in the ivory Tower

While there is likely to be no rest for the wicked, there is however, never short of scrutiny for the best and brightest of this land. Since young, they would have been identified and tagged as gifted, put into a highly advanced and accelerated learning program, studying way beyond their less gifted peers, taking off the little chance that they have to make friends with those that are placed in a less stressful learning environment while living in the constant fear of being ostracized. This draws them into a small enclave, which from the outside looking in, seems to be a wall make of snobbery and elitist superiority.

But yet, the question here is that are we looking at it with green eyes of envy at an ivory tower built by those gifted few as a way to protect them. Growing as such an environment, I fail to see that those early bloomers with their high IQ and excellent aptitude for being academically inclined a gift. In a way, it is both a gift to be bright and brilliant and probably a curse. No, this is not spoken in pity for those GEPed pupils, which will probably one day be the decision maker to steer the nation and forms the pillar of our society; If they did not burn out in that relentless pursuit of paper excellence.

Should we today, sideline them and force them into their small little clique, they will probably never see the world in a perspective, which in lack of a better word, elitist. We would probably never benefited from their sharp mind and thinking. It is probably for the worst that we are allowed to while place them where they are and yet refusing to treat them as whom they are but by how smart they are. It will be truly inhumane and undignified to classify people by their IQ. It is probably just as bad as forcing a yellow Star of David on their shirt and arm. Surely, we had the holocaust to teach us better, or is it that we are fulfilling the role of one that created history only to repeat because we never learn from it.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

How old I am???

First, thanks to Lancerlord which have this in 1 of his entry, guess he is younger than me, or at least he is acting younger than me.

If you want to use this, go here

You Are 32 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary

The last 1-year had been great and had also surprising little in the department of argument. I must say that my wife must have been exasperated for the numbers of times that I have been extremely a brainless, insensitive oaf being totally uncaring and unromantic. She has always been there for me, caring and absolutely understanding. Well, she has her moments of little tantrums but I guess that only makes her even more endearing in my eye.
There really isn't much to plan for except to go catch Harry Porter but unfortunately all the better seats had been taken and we decided not to. We next drop by to WCG at Suntec to actually see our very first cyber competition and we were lucky to walk back with 1 game controller more courtesy of the Lucky draw in the WCG.

I tried, really tried to find a place, which is good enough for her. I guess I only barely scrap the passing grade bringing her to My Secret Garden, a spot befitting its namesake as it is quietly hidden behind the Sculpture Garden somewhere in the city. The ambience is impeccable as it is cozy, lighted with just enough tea-lights. Soothing music and the gentle fragrant complete the setup that is just perfect for a night of romantic get-away. The service is just right on the mark and the food did do the place justice. What really completed the evening is the desert, which delighted my wife.

What I would recommend would be the lamb rack that is delightfully done to just the right texture, while the flakes being tasty on their own gives the lamb added dimension to its taste. The potato skin with escargots was exquisite with the right balance of escargots and mushrooms while the potato was baked to just the right level of softness and crispiness.

I did mention that the desert was exquisite? Well, the Bread and Butter Pudding and the Triple chocolate cake is delicious by their own rights. Try tasting both together would be heavenly. I do suggest that if you want to have a quiet night out, this would be the spot. Take a look here : Http://www.mysg.com.sg but shhhh….dun o out an tell everyone.

Well, I hope my wife enjoyed the short interlude between her busy work schedules. I know that I needed this break. Just looking forward to the next year. In fact, everyday spent is like winning the lottery.

债 (Debt)

生命中,无法抗拒, 无力承受的情

一个人一生中,总难免会承受一些人情。人情债,最难还;但是它会叫你不能也不得不还。 与其负上这一个人情的负债,有时情愿不领这个情,不负这个债。但是身命中总有一些你不得不领的情和不得不负的人情债。
无法抗拒的债 其实讲白了,根本就是一种感情勒索。而勒索这门勾当就是要让你知道这是一个无法全身而退的一个局但是你还是不得不入局。布局的人,有时令人觉得心机很重却令人无法咬牙切齿的去恨。很无耐的是,布局的人都是生命中,一些你认为重要的人。能够让你在毫无条件下,最义无反顾的付出。虽然这些都是一些小动作,但有的时候这些小动作可能会叫人心烦进令人有一种被人玩弄于股掌中的感觉。我相信,任何人都不喜欢那种被当成是扯线木偶的感觉。但是,如果把线看作是一种牵缚,一种感情与关系的联结,将这条线剪断可能令人得到了自由,也对双方造成伤害。

引起这诸般沉思的,只是一碗面。一份星期六早上的早餐。 当我听到母亲说她没空准备时,只是应了一声。可是随之而来的,尽是以连串的提问, “要不要我煮?”“吃饭?吃面?”“要吃就帮忙!” “要你帮忙这样难。”“你看,五分钟就弄好了!”“又可以省钱.”

可能你们觉得我不懂得感恩,有些不识好歹,甚至觉得我大逆不道,活该给雷劈了。但是, 如果以我的立场来讲, 其实,早餐我可以自己张罗,自己下厨也行。 只是我并不喜欢被别人用问题来套牢,如果别人已经决定的事,就别来问我。稍有违被您的意见就给人扣帽子。顺着您的意见时,稍有不够卑躬屈膝,就会被当成大不逆。直到今日, 对别人不敢有所诉求,大半都是因为觉得还不起这分债和这俩句:


Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Another Bird Flu Victim

dead_bird, originally uploaded by putit_this_way.

Yes, it hit Paris. The world mourns for the lost of one its quackiest duck. Donald Duck residing in Euro-Disney is found dead at the Euro Disney.

Some passerby which witness this terrible scene reports tat the last word spoken by Donald is,"Tammi...Tammi..." much to the anguish of a distraught Daisy Duck. Widow to the recent deceased Donald Duck.


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Caption maketh the picture

I know the phrase a picture says a thousand word has been repeated till death and resurrection for the nth time. But I feel that at the end of the day, its the caption that completes the picture. Let try to run it

Just some of the captions that skew the original emphasis of the picture

Big Cork

big cork, originally uploaded by putit_this_way.

Big brown one

whiskey wet dream, originally uploaded by putit_this_way.

Big Ones

big ones, originally uploaded by putit_this_way.

Now, the captions really change the way you expectof the picture...No???

Friday, November 11, 2005

Effective Communication

In my years in different companies, I had derived the following 10 points foreffective communication which is the key to success:

1). Be seen as forcefull in your message
Saying maybe, synergies as buzzword seems so last century. What you need is to say empowerment, deadline, consequences and impact. More effective if you can emphasis them with a very big gun. Tomahawk missle is extremely effective.

2). Back it up with gesture and actions
Words are just facts, action is key. Do not be afraid to use force and demonstration. Remember how effective it was when Deathstar was use as an interogation tools????

3). Dont threaten, Just promise that it is going to hurt
Threatening someone is just so wrong and should only be done if you are part of the cast in the Sopranos. What you should do should be not telling people to pay up but start to pour kerosene at their front door. This is a Industrial-wide best practice.

4). Picking the right time
Yes, timing is everything. Telling someone a crisis has just happen at 10am will not have much effect. Try doing it at 3am in the morning at the person's home number for about 20 times will be much more effective to convey the sense of urgency.

5). Dress appropriately
What most practicioner failed to get prompt payment is because they dont dress right.
You should always wear something which is worse for wear from your client in order to get those payment. big thick goldchain shows that you are still quite well to do. Wear shirts with a few holes and a smattering of blood to show that you are not afraid to follow up with promises and action.

6). Give praise when needed
When you are asking for something. Be it an extension, additional loan, or raise. You should always heap praise and be subtle about it. And remember, praise and discreet gifts are nice emphasis that you meant your praise.

7). Format and presentation
Small font are good if you want important matters to be grossed over. But to bring points across, large bold text in red works best.

8). Location, location, location
Position your message strategically. Like right smack at the void deck in front of the lift and just in front of the unit will drive the message home. Put it in front of the police post will get you arrested.

9). Tailor your message
Not everyone understand officious sounding word from a lawyer's office and that not everybodies bodyguard appreciate a call by your agent. Know how to make your message understandable to your targetted audience is extremely important. Which works in a lesser way in the next point

10). Eliminate possible communication error
This is extremely important in that you do not want your message interpreted in the wrong way. While there has been ways to reduce this, there is a breakthrough solution to remove this once and for all. As we understand, Miscommunication is alwaysdue to a mistake in the interpretation of message by the recipient wilful or unaware. What we can say to this is to eliminate the recipient. Once and for all. That will reduce all Miscommuncation once and for all

Hope that was not helpful at all as it was done at a moment of insanity. Any attempt to follow or to replicate any/some or all of the 10 points will be basically your own fault for following a ranting of a mad man.

Happy weekend

Thursday, November 10, 2005

My Confidence profile

Thanks to Student for sharing this link:

Done my, seems to be not too bad with only social confidence at 5 while the other a minimum 7.

The link is here.


you need to sign up first though

My profile as follow:

confidence profile

You are a crusader. When you believe in a particular course of action, you are not afraid to make your views known.

You perform at your best with an audience. You would describe yourself as 'shy', and identify closely with performers who use their performances to obscure their shyness and insecurity.

People notice you. You are not afraid to take charge of difficult situations when you feel that this is necessary. Your personal qualities seem contradictory to some of your friends and colleagues; they have difficulty understanding how you can have such presence, and yet also project so much insecurity.

You can achieve significant gains in your personal life and career through personal development. Improved interpersonal skills will help you to form and sustain personal relationships which bring you joy. You have the capability to become a leader; by enhancing your sense of self worth you may find that you become a better listener, more empathic to the needs of others. This increased awareness of, and responsiveness to, the emotional state of others can help you to manage working relationships with a much lighter, more assured, touch.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Breaking the chain of depression

IT was one of those gruelling day in the office which seems like never to end with one situation following another and meetings after endless meeting, did not complete some of the task which I set out to but I have some other agenda today :- Badminton.

Went home to change and went to the badminton session at the sports complex nearby with wifey. Seems like she needs the regular session as much as I do. A good work-out till next week, hopefully I will squeeze some time to jog this friday.

It was only after all these that I managed to sit down and power up my computer. Only then I just came to a realization that there is this friend of mine that is in 2 photos that I glanced upoon. Showing them to my wife and she just realised that I am not that vetically challenged and that also a comment that it seems like the pose that I have seems to be that of confidence. Of which, my only reply is, " why not?"

It seems like confidence is something that my wife finds very common in me, in the pictures aptured and in the way that I talked. This is however, not just something born, but a belief that without confidence in the way we act and speak, our words and deeds will lack the substance and the conviction to carry out our will.

In this case, there was this thing about how there are some that is ever so lacking in confidence and that people who lacked confidence will never find it.

My only reply to this is a simple word, rubbish. Not to what she say but to the belief os those that lacks confidence. If you act and speak without confidence you will always falter and be indecisive, and people will take you as being indecisive. That will be a vicious cycle and that it will just reinforce your own belief that you do not have self confidence and hence manifest in the action which in turns reinforce perceptions that others have, hence the cycle will carry on in a modius loop of infinity.

The same for unhappinese in life. Feeling unhappy is just a start the melancholy is but the prelude to the tip of the emotional iceberg that one will experience. It is always easy to be kept in that same dark melancholic shell which makes one feels easier, better a shell than further hurt some says. There is a time for melancholy and there is a time for healing, a time to cry out and a time to wipe away those tears. To keep crying past that will be to cry yourself blind. In fact, I am very much given to believe that it is this downward spiral which will leads to depression and that if one still does not climb out of that deep well of depression, deeper depression till the point of death might eventually be the only solace for 1.

So, wipe off those tears as it is time to dry. hum a soft happy tune, while thinking of the bad time, think of something good and in itself a small step to climb out of that tower which is made of bricks of misery and pillared by depression. There is no help unless one decides to take the step to remove those bricks and pillars that binds. Tell yourself a joke, find something amusing and most importantly, laugh. And remember, laugh with a heart and build it up and laugh so hard that the damned tower collapse. You will find that there is sun behind that silver lining at the end of the dark cloud.

So, if you are depressed, snap out of it and laugh it out. You can do it.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

2 Sentences

It does seem like we are not really well liked by our friends from down under. And probably because we have a problem with listening and that, we do have a sentence that is rarely liked, the death sentence. While this has been fine and dandy with the people in Oz, it became a problem when not 1 but 2 people from the land of Oz was recently spending time here and that they might end up getting the hang of it so to speak.

The first guy probably will get away lucky. In fact, he is not even an Aussie. He is a Briton, which had spent quite a fair bit of time in Singapore and was doing rather well, when skeletons from the closet came out and almost put him away. I would not use the term skeletons but rather dead bodies which he had hidden after killing them, his girlfriend squealed on him and he ran down south only to be caught and tried for some other crime. We got our man after a long and drawn out legal and political wrangling which made us gave our word that he will not be hanged for his crime despite the mandatory sentence of death for murdering someone in cold blood. A blood for a blood, but I guess this case, he gets a discount. And if his lawyer had his way, just a few year in an institute by pleading one degree or another of insanity. If you ask me, I would prefer to let the Australian keep this guy in their prison or whatever, we really do not need to set such precedent of extraditing someone by making deals with them to have sentencing reduced. What is the point of trying someone, which is at our expenses when the full sentence could not even be served? If we have to pay from our pocket to feed this guy for the rest of this life for his killing spree, I would consider that a punishment befitting of his crime. More like a booby prize.

The other case was a bit sadder as the guy was caught trafficking a bit too much heroine into our airport. This guy was in fact transiting Singapore with the aim of smuggling insanely amount of heroine to Australia. While 400g might not seem to be a lot it definitely earns the gallows for Mr. Nguyen in this case. This is despite the fact that he is doing all these to pay off his brother’s debt and that he was in transit in Singapore. While his case wrings ones heart and his case deserves sympathy, His plea for clemency was denied and that despite all said and done, he will not be spare the rope. This paints a stark picture that there will always be runners like that, which will bear the brunt of the law, which makes a sad situation even sadder. This solves not the fundamental of the problem. It is like pruning the dry leaf of a plant in hope to kill the weeds, visible effort but no tangible results. I am sad to say that his life while taken within the letter of law, seeming taken more in the interest of this nation’s wish to express her sovereignty and that it will not take kindly to external interference. While I have always feel that it is paramount that external forces should be told in no uncertain ways that they are in no position to meddle with our business, but would a life of someone driven out of love for his brother into desperation a price too high?

The second episode reminds me of the recent scene in 汉武大帝, which saw the emperor in anguish and the court in uproar in what was a failed military operation against the 匈奴。The general leading the operations was a loyalist and in his whole life has no higher personal ambition than to defeat the barbarians pillaging the kingdom. His failure got him into jail and a possible execution. His son, at a moment’s folly, consorted with the premier through bribes in an attempt to exonerate him. Unfortunately, that incurred the wraith of the emperor and that the general was being executed for his failure. It seems like while law at time could be tempered with compassion, the wrong interference might very well firm the resolve to bring it to its bloody ends to everyone’s dismal. I sure hope that this will be the only time that I will witness a person that is being put to death under such circumstance, and of course, there are times, which I do wish that we do not need to bring such cretins into our shores.

Monday, November 07, 2005

Just how big is this toilet anyway

I was reading with some pique interest about the row that involves, of all things, a toilet. It is big as compared to other toilets as it is a toilet designated for the disabled and the whole thing that started the entire debate is none other than the irrepressible XX.

Now, the toilet is big, but is it that big? Obviously, it is, but not big enough as our beloved XX was being scolded for using it and that as all bloggers do, she blogged about it. The ensuring censure to her offending entry got 2 of her 3 sponsors pulled the plug on their sponsorship.

But really, is public toilet that big a deal and that does it requires one to go through so much just so that they can have some private time and space to their business so to speak? Apparently, public toilet is a serious topic in Singapore. We were told that our social grace and the lack of it reflected on how clean our public toilet is. Unfortunately, the cleanest toilet award and the upgrade of public toilets everywhere did nothing much to bring up our level of graciousness or make us a nation full of grace. It just proves that public toilet can be made clean with a minion of ever-vigilant cleaners and that if you give an objective and a measurement, people will go into the mad rush of meeting the barometric indicators while neglecting the one thing that needs to be improved on seems to be all the rage back then. It probably still is, but I digress.

There are 2 questions here raised:

Is it right to deny someone a source of income or to bitch about it just so that they lose the endorsement from a corporation because of something that is not agreeable to the complainant?

Is it right for someone that is physically without any disability to use the toilet or for that matter, other facilities being reserved for the physically disabled?

These 2 questions have been covered and chased by the media after they made their rounds in all the popular forums in Singapore. What I can only say is that and I am just as guilty of, feeding the troll by bringing up these 2 topics that are at best, OB markers.

Bitching to kill an endorsement

At this day and age, we are in short supply of celebrities, which could at the drop of a dime spin stories and sells papers. What the media and the media public masses finds in shortage, the Internet delivers. And this time from the realm of blogsphere, which yields more often than not, people, which are extremely outspoken with interesting character and in some cases, some personal failing that can be newsworthy from time to time. We have the perennial Mr. Brown and Mr. Miyagi, which have their own column in Today, and we have Xia Xue, who is a frequent guest on local Chinese talk shows as well as endorsing not 1, but 3 company. Unfortunately, like what uncle Ben once told Peter, “With great power comes great responsibility” As she is the endorsement for those, her words and deeds are watched and monitored by some, with a zeal that is far from what is proportional to her responsibility. It is not like everyone who read her blog would want to go out and offend somebody, and that the sponsors sure weren’t looking for a spanking clean image of purity and beauty. But yet, to have people that got outraged and write in to the sponsor to call them to withdraw and to have the sponsors so easily giving in paints a rather disturbing picture that people that are not happy about what you say in your blog will now not telling you in the face, but rather do something rather drastic about your source of income. It is worst than a slap in the face, more like a kick in the groin, and in this case, the feeling of indignation of having bad press that actually worked in such a way is probably more hurting than having someone flaming on the person’s blog. Low blow maybe, but it is effective. I am just waiting to see if there are blogger that will actually start litigation proceeding against those or even the sponsors that reneged. End of the day, someone might just say that it is the blogger that was being socially irresponsible, and are being negative role-model by abusing social resources and in this case, toilets meant for the physically disabled which begets my second question; What governs the use or abuse of toilets designated for the disabled?

Can the able-bodied use the disabled toilet?

If we compared toilets with parking lots, we would see that those perfectly able-body drivers parking their car in the lots designated for the disabled and that they will be slap with a fine. The same situation when it comes to the toilet, the person using the toilet might even answer with an indignant retort that it is within their bloody rights to use the toilet. The whole idea that having a toilet there which sits pretty, have better facilities and reserved only for a minority while the majority of us have to share the toilet and for the ladies, bearing the sometimes unbearable long queues while at it. I guess is a bit beyond comprehension. But think about it, most people will brand the driver that is able bodied as mentally disabled when parking at the disabled lot. The rule of thumb here I guess, while it is not too bad to use it when the situation is required, the disabled toilet is first and foremost, something build for the use of the disabled and should be treated as such. It might be going a bit overboard should we decide to fine people for using that, I guess it is only good social grace that we refrain from using it and let the physically disabled have the right of use for those toilet and that we will only it in the case of extreme emergency. I mean, you will never know when someone that is wheel chair bound really have a bad case of shit cramp while you are squeezing your zit inside.

I will just leave this last words, we should all live and let live and if we think that the particular person is not a role-model, do not emulate and do not engage, if there is not so much press surrounding them, Their ability to influence diminishes.

And that to exercise common sense befitting of the society that should be now matured by only using public resources that is designated for those that have special needs.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Keeping it for 40 years.

Was watching the 40 years old Virgin last Friday with my wife. While the show was hilarious without resorting to crass jokes and toilet humor, it did not make the joke too high-brow for some. In fact, I find it in good taste and the message behind the show very well thought out. If there is a show that you would want to get on DVD, this is the 1. Of course, I would also recommend Final Fantasy VII :- Advent Child, but that is another story altogether. Just 2 words, it rox.

Back to the 40 yr old Virgin.

Through out the whole show, a few topics which the show dealt with :- virginity, sex, fidelity, dating and I guess the underlying message is really about persona and perceptions.

The whole idea in the show about virginity is that, everyone else lost it which started the mad rush of everyone around our main antagonist to help him be relieved of his status of being a virgin, so much so that his boss even volunteered her services. There are of course dating tips which goes about in the likes of either getting your rocks off in 60 sec or getting slapped. The whole courtship prior to rutting ritual were the de-rigeur which make our main character getting into tight situations time and time again which resultant in failure of comic proportion. But if you were to ask me, the whole idea of virginity is that, its great to hold on to it, but if you lose it, it is really no big deal. For a guy to obsess over the state of virginity of his wife to be, that is like wondering if the seat cover of the car is still wrapped in plastic covers, you are going to tear it yourself anyway and that it really is not something worth getting upset over. I would be however, if the car is a 2nd hand being passed off as brand new. It is not the matter of being obsess about being the first but rather it is about knowing what you are signing up for. I have never lied about the fact that I am no longer that since my first relationship and that I have been up front about it in every relationship that I have been after. And really, I have never even asked if they are virgin or not, just a reminder that once they are past that, there is no turning back. Just this to all the guys and girls out there thinking of losing it for the first time. Please, think twice, use protection and make sure that you are old enough and that do remember that there will be no turning back after and that if you can wait, why not?

Which lead me to the other aspect, sex. I always feels that this is a beautiful expression between 2 person that loves each other, the very act itself is never dirty or wrong. If it is that, we would probably be reproducing by some other ways, the whole act of pro-creation is about love. The love between each other at its highest form of physical culmination. Equating sex and love is as wrong as as equating words with feeling. And please, I am not so naive to believe that all sex are from love. If that is the case, the oldest profession in the world would never be and that vice would only means the device or the situations of being gripped. However, acknowledging its existence is quite different from endorsing it. Vice does have its place in society and that like porn, meant as a viaduct of relief when non can be found and that while some choose to hold the restrain of man, some rutted like dogs. And no, I had never seek out the service ever till date and have no intention to, though I visited almost every red-light district in every country that I visited and yes, my wife knows about it. But seriously, I would never go about sorting such services as of the 1 word in mind, fidelity.

Fidelity is an interesting concept but not exclusive to human being. In fact, wolves are known to mate for life as with penguins while we human sometimes do not. I admit that I did not keep it till the wedding day and that I did have a few relationship that were long and deep in both emotional and physical aspect but yet, if truth be told, while temptation has always been there, I had never, for the better or worst of me entertain the thought of straying and I do hope that I never will. The whole idea of fidelity is not just about fidelity within marriage. Marriage is the legal process of solemnizing a relationship. And to some, the holy pronunciation of a man and woman to be 1 entity. If 2 are made 1, would you ever expect your right hand to cheat on your left hand? Being faithful to one another is something that is unwritten but should be practice throughout the relationship. So much so that the act of staying faithful to each other, forsaking all other is that once a commitment is made to be in a relationship, there should be no other. Such relationship has only a space for 2, putting a third party makes it intolerable for anyone. To carry on screwing is no better than being a dog that screws everything in heat or being no better than a bitch in heat. While some may argue that fidelity is only in marriage. But if you are not willing to do so in a relationship that lead up to marriage, would a vow and a piece of paper binds you? That is something that you will have to answer to yourself, honestly.