Friday, February 06, 2009

The beast in me

I try to put up a civil front most of the time. Not out of fear of reprisal, but fear that the beast in me might be out of control. I am probably one of those, while drinking... will tend to get while, but little does people knows that even then, I retain full faculty. Guess that there is a little of a control freak in me.

despite how lousy this week has been so far, I do in fact yell alot at people. But all was done in deliberation. As I began to realised that despite us in a civil society, a show of force and a raise of voice still does wonder to get one's point across.

you can consider it the modern way of gunship politics.
But even madness needs method, least it is only mindless lunacy. Showing of force, which I like to call it, needs to be done in such a way that it delivers the message and emphasis it without losing the plot and without getting 1 into trouble.

It is more than a raising one's voice or for that matter, the banging of tables and using angry word.... Words should be carefully chosen and never should they be foul. Threaten not but always say something that you can back up. Be vague at times but descriptive if necessary, but always, always, take to the extreme and know this, the whole idea is not just to get your message across, but to vent it as such that at least you feel better.

End of the day, I can either chose to die young with all frustration in me, or I can get a safety valve to let it out and let it out on those that rightly deserves it.


There are many a times in the past months that I tried to will myself back to the keyboard to strike those words hard and leave them like footprints in the sand... but many a time I just fear to thread or simply too lazy. Being a father is a full time job. Not to mention that I have a full time job.

And so, for a while it seems that all is forgotten.

That is how I feel today, during work that me or at least what I have been doing all these while are forgotten.

I only came to the revelation from the golden mouth of my boss that he does not know that part of my job is done by me... and not just merely coordinating....

What fun...... To think that that function had been with me for the last 7 yrs and being written off just like that.....

This is one of the more frustrating weeks, of course, I had seen worst. Being in a company for so many years allow 1 to see the bad day through by think ing about the good days.......

But yet..... only knowing how much a certain job has been taken lightly makes 1 wonder if the year of the ox should not let 1 just merely toil the field like to ox but to beat one's ow trumpet so that all will know.... But alas, as it is my sign, I prefer to do my work....

Anyway, its still not too late, just wish that everyones life gets better through toil and hardwork....