Thursday, June 04, 2009

Classy things to say when stressed

Classy things to say when stressed

1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!"

2. "You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing?!"

3. "How many times do I have to flush before you go away?"

4. "This day sure was a total waste of make-up"

5. "Well, aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

6. "Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

7. "Do I look like a fucking people person!"

8. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"

9. "I started out with nothing still have most of it left"

10. "I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me"

11. "Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed"

12. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

13. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

14. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

15. "I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?"

16. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

17. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

18. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

19. "You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

20. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

21. "If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

Rules of investment

I was recently inspired on how investment can be done and how some scholars showed the way, let me just share them with you

1). Screw legality
It only needs to seems legal, doesn't matter if it may turn out otherwise, if someone promise you a state-own enterprise at ridiculous price, just take it cause some law intern told you so.

2). Monopoly is good, cartel better.
It really doesn't matter if you own a large share of the top 2 company in the same industry in a country because you can still sell the stake of it to another foreign company even if the court says no.

3). State openly that your investments have a long horizons and divest very quickly
Claims that your investment is for years if not decades and sell them off in under 20 months

4). Its all in a name
If you can't get a top execute call wealth or trillion or billion, get some that share the namesake of a tyre should be fine as well

5). Buy High sell low
Ignore calls that you over exposed your investment in a particular sector and ignore all the warning sign that you are buying a lemon. Good is good, Lehman was pretty fantastic.

I am sorry, as I am not a big investor, you will get nothing guessing who I am talking about. If you are following these rules, you should have a few billions in reserve and I can recommend you myself as the beneficiary as I can assure you that I can make better returns in Macau, Genting or our new IRS